Saturday, December 31, 2011

funny quotes

"In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips, and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale."
Stephen Phillips

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job.  ~Donald D. Quinn

Fun-sized Snickers? Who’s this fun for? Not me. I need six or seven of these babies in a row to start having fun.
Jeff Carlin

I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
W.C. Fields

Hope you are having a good day!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Ten Things Thursday

Another Ten Things Thursday brought to you by: Laura Belle!

1.  I wish I knew how to link LB's blog to my post....then the thank you would really work out  You know, how you savvy bloggers have the name of the person in a different color and you can just click on it?  Anyone?  A little help here?

2.  We survived our first sleepover...remember, I posted about the cousins coming over!!  (My oldest is asleep already.  He took a nap today too.  He was a tired mess.)

3.  More focused on making smart food choices today than the last few days.  Trying to break the cycle before it spirals out of control completely.

4.  Struggling with needing some RESTRICTION!!!!!!!  I won't get to see my dr. until Feb. 2nd.  I am sitting here at 3.5 cc in a 10 cc band.  I know we are being cautious but when I had restriction for that one was heaven.  I finally understood why so many of you say you LOVE your band.  Now I am back to doing it on my own....again....kind of frustrating.  I have had one good month out of six since surgery.

5.  Upping my weights at the gym seems to be making my arms a bit more cut!  Yippee.  Now, I could be imagining it but I swear my biceps and shoulders feel sooooo tone.

6.  I get to go to Zumba tomorrow!  Not my favorite teacher (my fav is recovering from shoulder surgery) but still get a good sweat on.

7.  Making a protective sleeve for my ipad 2 that is actually turning out pretty cute.  Pix to come once it's finished.

8.  Four more days of vacation. yeah!  Still have some papers to grade though.  boo!

9.Trying to pick my word for 2012...who knew that would be such a challenge for me?

10.  Miss hearing from some of  you........Amy at Finding Me (last two posts were about coupons...I love coupons but wondering how YOU are doing.)  KristinaB at Complete 180 (where are you???)  Jen at It Is ALL about have been MIA lady.

Hope you have a good evening!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


The best part about procrastination is that you are never bored, because you have all kinds of things that you should be doing. ~ Anonymous

A picture and a quote...clearly procrastination is on my mind.  I keep putting off posting on my blog.  Oh I am faithfully reading YOUR blogs but not wanting to write myself.

WHY?  (you might ask...I am sure all 30 of you are sitting on pins and needles waiting for this thought- provoking response.)

Well, I don't feel like I have much to say.  I am not witty like some of you.  I haven't had some amazing weight loss numbers to report.  I am not a veteran bandster or blogger.  What do I have to report???

1.  My kids are good.  Tonight my oldest is having his first "sleep over" with his two cousins here at my house.  My cousin has the girl cousins at her house.  Let's hope everyone is able to fall asleep and make it through the night.  Right now the boys are in "Wii heaven" playing their hearts out!!!

2.  Back on track with my least 80% back on track but I should be back in line by tomorrow.  Apparently, I gained 1.5 lbs on my pre-Christmas and Christmas eating and drinking extravaganza.  I am owning it and vowing to get back down to 161.2 in the next 8 days.  I am taking a 5 day break from CHOCOLATE.  That may not sound like much to you, but if I cut it out for a few days it stops "calling" to me and I can try and make wise chocolate choices.  I am on day 3 of my 7 day break from wine...definitely easier for me than chocolate.

3. Quick rant here:

WHY DOES MY HUSBAND INSIST on keeping ALL of the cookies that neighbors and friends bring over?????!!!!  I am sick of seeing them in tu*pperwa*re containers all over the kitchen.  He's killing me.  I have thrown out a few loads while he was a work today but he has no idea how much they are "calling" to me.  YES, I have told him. (I think I feel guilty tossing them all b/c he is Mr. Fit-n-Slim and has NEVER had to worry a day in his life about his weight.  Who really needs them though????)

Ok, done yelling.  I feel better.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

10 things Thursday

Thank you to Miss Laura Belle..

1. Back on the wagon. Saw my dr. Today & got a fill....trying to get things going back to some restriction.

2. I can't believe that my boobs are still keeping their size! Random to share ....I know BUT I have gone down band sizes but am still a DD. Never in my weight loss history has that happened. Maybe the high protein?

3. Said I wasn't going to last minute shop...and here I am doing it.

4. Debating between the vitamix and ninja for a new blender.

5. Waiting and waiting for the NUT to call me back. I never got my 6 week post - op appointment. Thinking that at 6 months I definitely WANT IT! (I just found out that I was supposed to have one)

6. Am loving my vacation from perk of being a teacher

7. Hubby & I aren't exchanging gifts this year. We both got something we wanted back in november so we are calling it good for Christmas too! Boy that takes the pressure off.

8. I have been increasing my weights at the gym based on a friend's suggestion. I feel strong and hope this helps define some muscles.

9. Going to rumba tomorrow! Yippee! Another perk of being on vacation

10. My size 12 pants are super comfy...hope that means I am on my way to size 10!

Happy Thursday

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I think I was dragged behind the wagon....

Let's just say I fell off the wagon....

It's a bit hazy...something involving wine....& cookie dough......& mc Donalds...& Christmas cookies.

It's over. No more self-loathing. I am focused and back on track.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Meet me on MONDAY!!!

Blogging is a funny thing...we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, "who is this person!?" I know them...but yet I don't know them! I want to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great way for all of us to "meet" each other!

Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!


1. Tomorrow I'm going to _________?
2. Pudding or Jello?
3. What book are you currently reading?
4. What is the first concert you went to see?
5. What is your current weather?
1. Tomorrow I'm going to _________?

go to work....count down the minutes until Winter Break, go to "Athletic Conditioning" class at crying by 4:45 because it's so hard....go to my son's little winter show for "Tap."

2. Pudding or Jello?

Pudding all the way!  Mixed in some with some protein powder & lite cool whip.  (Yum-O as Rachel Ray would say....she wouldn't say it about instant pudding but you know what I mean.)

3. What book are you currently reading?

Cold Vengence 

4. What is the first concert you went to see?

Hmm...I think it was Depeche Mode.

5. What is your current weather?

Raining.  Kind of a nice change because we rarely get any kind of weather.  (I know you are so annoyed with me in So. Cal.)

Hope you all have a wonderful Monday!!!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Need some advice from you experienced bandsters

I went to the dr. Because i have been feeling really tight & wanted a slight unfill. He took out a whole cc to be on the safe side and said we would slowly proceed back up with tiny fills in the next two months. Here's the problem : now that i only have 3 cc in a 10 cc band i have NO RESTRICTION WHAT-so-EVER!!!! I am freaking out a bit.

Here's where YOU come in... think I might have actually been in the green zone but wasn't working my band properly. I'm not sure how much I am supposed to be able to eat...2 oz protein plus some fruit or veg. In one sitting?? 1/2 cup total of food as a meal? Maybe I wasn't too tight but eating too much occasionally & that's why I would get stuck? I know I am still in the stage of finding out what my band will tolerate......that adds to some of the confusion too. I need some guidelines...please help.

Monday, November 28, 2011

It's Monday

Blogging is a funny thing...we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, "who is this person!?" I know them...but yet I don't know them! I want to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great way for all of us to "meet" each other!

Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!

Java will add a linky so we can follow who participates and get to know them better!! Be sure to link the POST and not just your whole blog!!
(I don't know how to do the link.............uh oh!)


1. I really need to clean my _________?
2. What food makes you think of Christmas?
3. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?
4. What was your first paying job?
5. Have you read the Twilight series?
1.  fridge.  It really needs it....I threw out old food this weekend but never got around to cleaning the bins and shelves.  Yuck.
2.  Nut Butter Balls!  The kids and I made these cookies last night.  They are my husband's favorite PLUS my mom always made them for us when I was a kid.
3.  38
4.  First paying job (besides babysitting) was at age 14 1/2...I worked at House of Fabrics.
5.  I have to admit.....I did read the first book (Twilight) BUT only because I teach high schoolers and needed to know what all the buzz was about.  Not my thing so I didn't read any others in the series or see the movies.
Hope you are having a good Monday!!!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

A funny thing happened on the way to San Diego..

Well, it really wasn't funny--that just sounded like a good title.  On the way to San Diego the night before the 3day walk, my teammate and I went to Inn-N-Out for dinner.  Sounds simple enough right?  Well, she doesn't know I am banded.  I had a strategy though, protein style burger, eat a couple of fries, no drink...should go well.  Well, in the middle of eating she asked why I was taking such tiny bites of my food?  She also commented that she noticed I had lost some weight and "what was I doing to lose it?"  I gave her my new answer that I am a food addict (which is true) and I am working on paying attention to EVERY SINGLE BITE I put in my mouth.  Eating more protein, less carbs, chewing 25 times so I slow down my eating, etc.  All true. 

Well, I ate about 2/3 of my burger and 4 french fries.  I don't know if it was the fries or if I ate too much because I was so self conscious I wasn't checking my "fullness" level....I am still new at this.  Anyhoo, I could tell something wasn't sitting right.  Uh oh!  I thought, "Please don't let me barf right here!"  Unfortunately, I started sliming and painful hiccupping along with burps.  Oh man...things were not looking good. 

We hopped back on the freeway and I was concentrating with all my might on trying to keep the food down and not crashing.  I ended up having to pull over on the shoulder to throw up.  Fun times.  I explained it was probably because I hadn't had fast food in months....she accepted that.  The WHOLE rest of the weekend I was so focused on what I ate and how big of bites I took so as NOT to repeat that performance.  Makes me wonder why I am keeping my band as this big secret?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I did it.....60 miles, 3 days, one cure!!

 Packing for the trip.

 That's the shirt that my students signed if they wanted to sponsor me.

Bright and EARLY on day 1.  My small but fun team:  Save the Ta-Ta's

 Opening Ceremony

 On the route...the fire truck's sign said "3-day Walkers are HOT"  (it mad me smile!)

 How could I tell this fan "NO" to the offer of beer shots....liquid carbs...what's a girl to do?

 Happy Hour...we made a pit stop.

 My Aunt (survivor) and cousin were at the finish line for day 1.  
It was so nice to have some familiar faces at the end of 20 miles.

 My hubby brought the kids down to visit me at camp the second night.  
Do I look like I just stumbled in to camp after walking 40 miles in 2 days?

 I loved this guy and his great shirt.  He was a super fan (a.k.a. "a walker stalker") 
for the weekend.  His wife was walking but he cheered for each and every one of us.

 After walking through the rain for part of the morning, we are about 1 mile to the finish line.

I had an amazing time.  I am definitely walking again next year.  Anyone want to join me? 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Goals for the week

Apparently, I am not meeting my goals.

(You ask:  "What goals?" .....I have never seen/read in her posts that she actually set any.
My reply:  Yes, I know....I haven't really stated any....that could be the problem.)

Goals for the week:

1.  drink a minimum of 70 oz of water each day

2.  get in 6 workouts

3.  FAITHFULLY track my food and exercise in journal on ipad using app.

4.  Follow all the band rules!!!

5.  No wine for the week. (I went a tiny bit overboard last week w/ the birthday celebrating.)

6.  Throw out remaining coconut cream pie.

yes, that last goal needs to be accomplished TONIGHT before I eat any of it!!!!!!!!

What are your goals for the week??

Monday, November 14, 2011


Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!


1. Does your family/friends know about your blog?

My husband knows but doesn't read it.  3 friends know and read it.  (HI there  L, E, C)
2. What is your favorite card game?

Canasta....been a long time, but I do remember it being fun.  I am more of a Pictionary, Taboo, Catch Phrase kind of gal! 
3. What do you wear to bed? 

tank top and boy shorts 
4. What is your favorite kind of French Fry?

seasoned curly fries from Chili's....I'm not sure they still have these actually.  Hmm.  
5. What is your usual bed time?

I'm with Robyn....I am not really that old but I do get up for work at 5am soooooo my bedtime is 10 pm. 

Hope your Monday was great!

Sunday, November 13, 2011


What a crazy couple of days.
1. I turned 41 this week.
2. I was soooooo super tight lately, couldn't figure out if it was what/how I was eating or just my band getting wonky. I am still confused.
3. I am almost packed for my 3 day walk this weekend.
4. I wore size 12 jeans out last night and looked good!
5. I am going to weigh in tomorrow....I better be down a pound
6. Went out to eat with hubby & friends and didn't have ONE SINGLE PROBLEM with my band. After 4days of being really tight in the evening, this was so welcome.
7. I am a bit nervous how my band is going to act on the "walk" this weekend.
8. Only 4 more work days until thanksgiving vacation.....wooooohoooo!

Hope you all have a great Monday!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Did you see my ticker??

Three hours on the treadmill yesterday.  Yep....3 hours.  Here's why:

Sunday was supposed to be my last "training" walk for the 3day for the cure but due to rain, we all had to do our own thing.  Now the walk we had planned was 20 miles which would have taken around 6 hours BUT I really took the rain excuse to heart....did 3 hours and then went to my daughter's basketball game.  Way more fun.
I know I will be fine for the big 60 miles in 2 least I hope so!  (I know day 1 will be fine, it's just the sleeping in a tent, getting ready in the cold, putting back on clothes and going out for another day or two of walking that I am slightly concerned about.) 

I do need to spend some time this week getting things together...I just took a look at the packing list.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Ten Things Thursday

1.  I have eaten 12 pieces of candy since Monday.  Damn chocolate!

2.  My friend had a baby yesterday.....9 lbs. 14 oz.  Holding that baby gave me a new appreciation for what losing 10 lbs is like.

3.  I am sooooooooo sick of work right now.  You would think I had "senioritis" just like my juniors...yes, juniors--they think they are done with school and it's only NOVEMBER!

4.  I am still at 164 BUT I think I am at the perfect fill level and I know that I will get to 160 by the end of the month.

5.  Had 3 days of being super tight....I now realize that this might happen EVERY month around (.) time.

6.  I learned how to send the pictures on my phone to my computer.  Yeah for me....I am technology challenged.  (A student had to teach me how to do it! )

7. The house is sooooo quiet right now.  Hubby took the kids to volleyball practice and I need to clean the kitchen, unload the dishwasher, and make dinner but I haven't even started.

8.  Went to my "support group" meeting last night.  I am kind of disappointed that there were only 2 of us there, 1 person on speaker phone, & the facilitator.  All nice people but I was kind of hoping the numbers in the group would pick up, not dwindle.  I can use all the support I can get.  (A BIG Thanks to all of you!)

9.  Only 15 days until my 60 mile breast cancer walk.

10.  Is it bad that I get so excited to wear a school t-shirt and jeans to work on Fridays????  Usually the hair is in a pony too!  I love Fridays!

Have a good one!

Halloween pix

Finally getting around to posting Halloween pictures. We had a great time this year!  Our first year trick-or-treating with friends instead of going around our own neighborhood.

In CA. the only complaint we ever have about Halloween is that it is too HOT...we want some fall weather.  When it finally got dark, the temp was great.

Hope you had a great time too!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

It's time to GET REAL with myself and you-- 4 months into the journey

After Drazil's most recent BYOC on Friday the 28th, I really got to thinking. (Oh I know, I try not to do that too often.)  Many items talked about why you blog, who knows about your blog and or surgery, if you are public or anonymous, etc.  I started to realize that I am not being truly honest on my own blog.  I tell the truth about what I post BUT there is a lot I leave out. 

1.  I have never posted my weight..... today it's 164 but I don't want anyone to do the math and see "holy shit she was 205 at one point."  (only 24 more pounds to go though!!)

2.  I have kept my surgery a secret from almost everyone...about 15 people know and this is including only a few family members.  I am afraid that people would discount the work you have to do to make this tool work. ( I am actually kind of ashamed that I couldn't deal with my "food issues" with out help.)  There is so much of a stigma attached to WLS....people wrongly assume it's a "magic wand" or the "easy way out."  WE know that is not the case.  I have to work every single day to follow the rules.

3.  I am a food addict.  I use food to cope.  I use food to soothe.  I love the way food feels while I am chewing it.  (Notice I didn't say how food tastes....for 25 years I don't think I really tasted the food as much as ate it as fast as I could.)  Things have changed though over the last 11 months.  I try to really savor each could be all that chewing before swallowing, trying to listen to my body, think about "am I satisfied" etc. that forces me to focus on the taste.  Regardless, I am glad.

4.  I get so much from all of your blogs and I don't really ever thank you.  I was reading your blogs well before I had even admitted to myself that I was going to get the surgery.  Your words, victories and struggles inspire me every day.  Thank you.



Saturday, October 29, 2011

If you don't already visit Shelly's blog you MUST!!!

If you aren't familiar with Shelly's site, you are missing out.  Now Shelly has not been "banded" but did undergo WLS 5 years ago.  She has a zillion followers, enters cooking contests (and wins!) using WLS friendly recipes, has TONS of great food ideas and recipes, and other inspiration.  Protein ice cream?  Yep, I make it and love it.  Protein bites?  Yep....I make those too.  Super good "carb-less" everything.....yep, it's all there.   She has a zillion followers so she doesn't "need" more BUT I AM TELLING YOU, IF YOU DON'T USE SOME OF HER RECIPES YOU WILL BE SAD.  They are great.  Go on....go check it out.

Friday, October 28, 2011

It's finally FRIDAY.....BYOC

It’s Friday and time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! A couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and enjoy!

This week Draz's questions are going to themed…as in they are all about blogging and just to throw you off – there are more than 5 this time!!

1. When did you begin blogging? Do you plan to do it a long time or do you think you’ll stop after a while?
 Five months now.  I NEVER EVER thought I would blog.  What in the world do I have to say?????

2.  What do you enjoy more - blogging yourself or reading other’s blogs? easy one!  I love reading other blogs!!  I was a "lurker" on a number of blogs for 6 months before I decided to start one.

3.  What’s the biggest thing blogging has taught you? Biggest surprise about blogging?
That I really don't like to write.....I seem to have a hard time expressing myself.  Oh, and that I am not funny.  I am kind of funny in real life...but it doesn't translate to my blog.

4.  Have you met any other bloggers in real life – solely because of your blog or theirs?
Nope...hope to some day.

5.  Does your blog have a general theme as in one topic or do you cover everything and anything?
It's really a public journal about my experience with the band and exercise.

6.  Are you public or anonymous? Whichever you are – do you ever wish you were the other?
I comment "public" BUT  I am not "out" as being banded to many people outside of blogland.

7.  What’s your best blogging advice for a new blogger?
I could take some of this advise.........................

8.  Does anyone in your real life read your blog/know it’s address? Do you wish they would or wouldn’t?
Only 3 friends in "real life" know about my blog.  Since I am not ready to share that I am banded with many, I am good with this.

9.  Do you enjoy blogging or do you view it as a chore? How often do you blog?
Both.  I love reading everyone's blogs and hearing what is up.  I LOVE the support from all of you.  BUT is kind of a chore.  It's just not easy for me to think of what to say....or that I actually have something interesting to say.

10.  Do you tell people in your real life that you blog? Or keep it a secret?  Oh it's a big ol' secret!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Finally 40!!!

I finally made it to -40 lbs!!!  I am so excited b/c it seemed like I just kept bouncing back and forth the same couple of pounds.  My goal is to shed the next 25 by my bandiversary on June 30th.  Nothing too extreme, just an average of 3 lbs a month...seems kind of low huh?  Well I am trying to be realistic.  I have lost a total of 40 lbs. BUT on 15 of them have been since surgery.  My dr. keeps reminding me "it's not a's a marathon."  He's right and for once in my life, I am actually content to lose it slowly.

I am getting excited for my 60 mile breast cancer walk in November.  We have one more training walk to go.....we are going to do 20 miles on Nov. 6th!  So far our longest walk has been 17 miles in about 5.5 hours--including potty breaks & eating.  Hopefully, I will be good to go for the whole 60....actually, I's my feet that I am worried about.

Hope all is well in your world!

Monday, October 10, 2011

"Take twice as long to eat half as much." --Anonymous

Hello big, wonderful, world......yes, I am back.  Did you miss me???  All 27 of you??? LOL

Now I am sure some of you are thinking, ..."she hasn't posted in such a long time, she must have fallen off the wagon."


"she hasn't been doing her exercise so she didn't want to face the exercise ticker."  (btw, I need to put a new one for October up.)


"well, maybe she is gaining weight and in denial." (I love denial but not currently in that state.)


none of the above.  I am doing fine with my food intake, exercise is going ok....not as much as I would have liked last week but still acceptable.  Not making poor choices.  Just not much to report on the weightloss front.  I keep bouncing up and down the same 2 lbs...trying still to get to - 40 lbs.  I will get there but who knows when.  I am really and truly wearing a size 14....some 14's are even ...gasp....too big.  So I know my body keeps shrinking but the scale can't stick to a number.  I will get there.

Getting a fill on Wednesday....hoping I will finally get to the elusive GREEN ZONE.

hope all is well with you.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

"I don't care about being big and strong, I just want to look good naked "-- unknown

I saw that quote on a t-shirt and loved it.  I would NEVER wear it, but still funny for my exercise post.

Well today I had a banner day for exercise.  I went on a training walk (getting ready for the Susan G. Komen 3 day 60 mile walk in November) and we did about 17 miles.  It was hot.   I was sweaty.  But we did it. 

I think I might have to start my October exercise ticker just so I can put those minutes on it!!  he he!

hope you are enjoying your weekend.

Friday, September 30, 2011

3 month-a-versary

Three months ago I had surgery.  Even though I have not lost as much as I thought I would 3 months out (only -12), I am still happy that I have made some progress.  I am still trying to get to the green zone and even figure out what my band will and won't allow me to eat.  38 lbs. down, 27 more to go.

I may only be 3 months banded but I have been on my journey for 10 months.  Living with a food addiction makes everyday a challenge.  I have not conquered it, but I sure am making progress.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Teenagers make me crazy!

Teenagers....kind of a curse word for me today.  Stressful and annoying day at work today involving.....yes, you guessed it, teens.  Normally I love my job.  Normally I take their sometimes ego-centric, irresponsible, & helpless behavior in stride....they really are just kids....big ones....but still kids.  Today they pushed me over the edge.  (too long of a story to even bore you with.)  Normally I would be rooting through the pantry looking for something to take the edge off....yes, food is my drug of choice.   My stress-relief.  I am tempted.

Today though is NOT a normal day.  I refuse to seek food as comfort!!!!  (NSV:  just recognizing this and STOPPING myself is a step in the right direction.)

hope your day is going great.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I am pretty sure I met Satan tonight

Yep, I think I did.  Satan was disguised as "Cherise" the adorable, hot pink & black spandex clad teacher for my workout class.  "Athletic Training?"  (my ass....literally!)  She is doing a triathlon this weekend so I think she kicked things into high gear for all of us.  Wasn't that considerate of her?

As much as I am complaining, I really do love when all my muscles are shaky and I am wanting to quit.  Serves me right for skipping her class all summer to workout in the mornings.

Now, if I can just get the scale to cooperate.  My FIRST fill on Thursday...actually, my do-over first fill.  Wish me luck since things didn't go so well last time. 

Friday, September 9, 2011

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of." Anonymous

Binges.  Yes, I said it......binges.  For the last 10+ years, Friday nights were my "binge nights."  Don't judge me.  It's not like I went   "wooo hooo....friday!  I am gonna eat myself silly as a reward for my stressful week"  BUT my husband works friday nights.  The kids would be in bed and I had the evening ahead of me to watch whatever I wanted on tv and treat myself to some kind of food reward.  Inevitably, one treat would lead to the next, and to the next until I was spiraling completely out of control and soothing my troubles away with ice cream or chips.  No one was there to see it happen --that's most likely why I could do it.

I always spent days after the binge guilt-ridden... sometimes the guilt lead me to another binge or all-day graze-fest.

I am happy to report that part of my pre-op work (assigned to myself by me!) was to try and break the cycle of the dreaded "binge and restrict."  I have only had one binge in 8 months which is good.  Right now though, I can feel the urge and it is scaring me.

I know the "soothing" effect from food does NOT last and the guilt that follows is horrible.  I know that the urge is part stress related and part hormonal related (TOM).  I know that my plan to go get on the treadmill will get my mind off of "mindlessly eating" --at least for awhile.  I know food is NOT the answer.  I know I can do's just a bad habit.

What's your bad habit and how do you deal with trying to break it?


Let’s do BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy. We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break. Copy to your own blog and ENJOY!  (Thanks Drazil)

1. Do you drink coffee? Decaf or regular? Cold or hot? If not – what’s your go-to morning drink?

I like lattes....Skinny Vanilla Iced Lattes to be precise.  Now that I am banded though I am putting instant coffee in my chocolate or vanilla protein shake and getting everything (breakfast and coffee) in at the same time!  Delicious!

2. What are your top six characteristics in a partner if you could hand pick them. And just for kicks – if you’re in a relationship – after you make the list of six – does the person you are with possess all five?

sense of humor
hard worker

My husband has them all.  I am a lucky girl.

3. I’m going to pick a person – not knowing if this person even exists in your life – and you try to describe this person in 5 short words or sentences:

Paternal grandfather

smoked a pipe
didn't see him that often after my parents divorce
very strict and proper

4. What’s your signature item? Color? Piece of clothing or jewelry? Accessory? You know – that one thing people know you will ALWAYS have on?
Sad, sad, sad. I must be a candidate for "what not to wear."  I don't have a "signature" thing.  I have started to accessorize more but......

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog life.
 Real life:
School started this week....I am back to work, my kiddos are back to school.  Pipsqueak started KINDERGARTEN and looks so darn adorable in her uniform.   Loves her teacher, class and new friends.  Reecerpie started 2nd grade and thinks his teacher is "epic!"  (A frenchmen who teaches at the bi-lingual school in it.  The man sings, does art, runs a tight ship, and seems great.)  My actual students ... all 196 of them....seem fine so far.  I've only known them 3 days but I am certain that period 1 & period 5 will compete to be my FAVORITE class of the day...teenagers are soooo funny.....they all brag that "they are the favorite class." Usually, I adore each one of them and just let them compete to win my heart as the "fav."  I am tired though....brain and voice were still in summer mode so both are tired right now but  I still have to go workout tonight too!

Blog life:  
well, based on the above info, I have not had time to read or post....I am caught up now.  At work I can't even find 5 minutes to sit at my computer PLUS yesterday my town (and 1.5 million others living in or near my town) lost power for 6 hours.  gotta love the 99 degree weather and no electricity.  fun times!  Hope all is well with you....have a good weekend.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Don't Hate Me But....

I have to vent.....just a little, teensy, tiny that ok?  are you still with me? 

Last week I was in desperate need of an unfill b/c apparently my body was SUPER PISSED that the dr. put fluid in my band.  (I think it was kinf of like that picture of the baby.)  Remember, he did take out half of the fluid.  I am sitting at 2cc now which he says is just enough to fill the port line and the silicon band barely......but not do anything.  Well, I am no longer in pain. Yipee!  I can drink water freely....gulp it even. Yipee!  Unfortunately, I can eat freely too-- as if I didn't have a band at all.  Now I can hardly wait until the 22nd to get my "first fill do-over" and get a little something in this puppy.  I really just want a bit of restriction....not asking for much but something.  I feel like I have been doing this whole journey on my own merits (w/ help from all of you in blog-o-sphere) and would like a little help please from the ol' band. 

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

What a difference a day makes!

Quick update:
1.  got my first fill on 8/23.......and first un-fill on 8/30 (my 2 monthiversay of being banded.)  I was way to tight even though he only put in 4.5 cc.  I was in soooo much pain. 12 hours later and things are fine and dandy.  Dr. took out half of the saline and we will try and put a bit back in in 3 weeks.  I don't have any restriction but did I mention that I am not starving or in pain????  LOL
2.  Exceeded my exercise goal for August. Yipee!
3.  Now that I can eat again, I will be back to my 1500-1600 cals and will hopefully start losing again.  (it's weird that for the last few days when I was so tight i could barely consume 500-600 cals but I lost ZERO lbs.  I know now that my body will fight to the death to hold on to those few calories rather than let ;me starve to death.)  Hopefully I will be back on track.
4.  My Breast Cancer Fundraiser last night was a success
5.  Squeezing in quite a few more fun activities with the kiddos since we start school at week from TODAY.  boo hoo

Monday, August 29, 2011

Made goal with a day to spare!!

Yahoo!  Made my exercise goal this morning...I know, cutting it close since tomorrow is the end of the month.  (Actually, is that right??  I am still in vacation mode --10 days until school starts and I have to work again--not even sure what the date is but I think it's the 29th).

How is your exercise coming this month??

Sunday, August 28, 2011

AH HA!!! Check out that ticker!

Happy Sunday evening! 

Been having a hard time sitting down to post on my own blog but ....I think I am now caught up on everyone's blogs.  Ok, the reason for the post and annoying title!!!  I set my exercise goal for part of August to be 1100 minutes. (Let's recap for a moment, shall we?   I had completed 1000  exercise minutes from July 23rd to Aug.7th so I added a bit more for the rest of Aug. to challenge myself. Please remember during that time frame tons of exercise and eating 1200-1400 calories and I lost ZERO pounds!!!!  Fun times)  Anywhoozle,  I cut back on the exercise a bit, starting eating MORE (like 1500-1600) calories....I know....a totally scary combo for a life-long dieter...and then had a fill.  So I have actually dropped a few pounds this week.  Yeah.

GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!!!  (I am actually yelling at myself! hmmmm)
 Ok the point is, since I wasn't going quite so crazy w/ the exercise, I was starting to get worried that I wouldn't meet my Aug. 30th goal.  BUT  I am gonna do it ....all thanks to training walk today.  My friend and I walked for FOUR HOURS........yes, 4 hours (about 15.5-16 miles) because we are preparing for the Susan G. Komen 3day for the Cure walk in November where we will walk 60 miles in 3 days.  The walk today was good, the conversation great, my hips were sore, but I got to add all of those lovely minutes to my exercise ticker.  Yipee!

60 more minutes tomorrow and I will make my goal!  

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Need Advice!

Good morning.

I am looking for advice because I just got my first fill 2 days ago and I don't know what is "normal" with the band and what isn't.

1.  Is it normal to take 3-4 bites of something and then feel like a truck is sitting on your chest and back?
2.  Is it normal to actually feel tightness in your chest with a sip of water?
3.  Is it normal to eat 1/2 of an egg and a corner of toast and throw up?

I don't want to overreact and call the dr. just yet b/c I'm not sure what to expect.  I am trying to take tiny bites and chewing well.  I don't know what it feels like to get the "full signal" from my body.  Any advice would be appreciated.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

So this is what restriction feels like...

I went to get my first fill yesterday.  (For those of you new to all this band's how I think it works.  When the band is inserted it only has a little bit of fluid in it to keep the port line filled. Once healed from surgery, many patients just feel like their normal self while eating.  I was one of those people who could eat anything, gulp my water at the gym, etc. You have to wait until you get the first "fill" to actually feel some restriction while eating.) 
Sooooooooo - Dr. P ended up putting in 4 cc.  While doing the swallow test in the office, I didn't feel anything.  I could drink normally.  He said we'd start with the 4cc total and then in 4 weeks adjust as needed.

This morning, I tried some watery malt-o-meal.  First bite swallowed and WHAM!  Tightness in my chest and back. So that's what it feels like if you take too big of a bite of even something soft.  Barely could eat 2 oz taking teeny, tiny bites.  Had a protein shake post-workout, and drank it with caution.  Watery mashed potatoes for lunch (with some Fage Greek Yogurt mixed in)... tightness again. 

We will see what things are like by tomorrow morning. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Your body keeps an accurate journal regardless of what you write down...

Well, I am up and I am down...mostly up.  What is going on?  Let me recap:

1.  was trying to eat between 1200-1400 calories a day while working out like a crazy person.  Cardio, strength training, walking for endurance, etc.

RESULT?  nothing.  stayed at the same weight for 2 weeks

2.  new strategy:  based on what a few of you suggested and everything I read on the internet, maybe I'm not eating enough calories???  Still exercising approximately 60 mins. a day 6 times a week.  Also started to do the food, exercise, & weight journal at

RESULT? mixed.  I seemed to lose 2.5 lbs over a week but now I am right back where I was.


Friday, August 19, 2011

Bring Your Own Crazy...TGIF


It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!! 

1. How much makeup do you wear daily, how long does it take you and are you loyal to certain brands?
  Most of the time I wear the whole kit &, bronzer, blush, eyeshadow, liner, mascara and lip stick---if I don't my teenagers at work as me "what's wrong?"   In the summer and sometimes on the weekends, I just put on some mascara and lip gloss.  I use Bare Minerals but am thinking about switching to a tinted moisturizer.  Have a really hard time trying to find lipstick and gloss....everything seems to change color on me.  Gonna try the Covergirl lipstain that JammyDancer at was mentioning.

2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them (or even if there is one) and you try to describe this person in 5 words/short sentences.
Your oldest paternal aunt
Kathy...but I haven't seen her in 30 years.  I think she might mentally unstable so that doesn't look so good for the ol' gene pool!

3.  Tell me about your first real kiss and how old you were.
gosh....i think in the seventh grade....must not have been memorable because I am not even sure who gave it to me.......hmm.  i'm old.

4. If I gave you $1000.00 and told you that you had to give it to a charity – which charity would you choose and why?

I would  give it to the Susan G. Komen 3Day Walk for the Cure....I am walking 60 miles this November and could use the donation for my team.

Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
Blogland - I've posted here and there....kind of waiting for something to report.
Real life - Started food journal on-line,  went to the gym everyday, tap class on wednesday, beach club, lake, and other activities w/ kiddos, having a girls' night tonight at a friend's house.


Thirty-five pounds down!!  Only  -10 since surgery but I am half-way to my goal weight.  I get my first fill on Tuesday so hopefully that will help me get off the other 35 lbs by my band-a-versary June 30th.

Hoping your Friday is going as great as mine! 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

When did General Mills start putting crack in Chex Mix?? (only kidding)

Ok, I am not proud that I picked "chex mix" as a snack today.  I am aware that there isn't ANY nutritional value.  I am not perfect nor trying to be --I am real. 

Well, my kids had the "cheddar" flavor with their lunches so I poured out an ounce onto my food scale (at least I was gonna journal it and be accountable) for me.  1/2 cup = 130 calories.....I only had an ounce.       

HOLY SMOKES!  Who knew chex mix could be so delicious???? 

just wondering........

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields

Well, I was looking for a quote about success ....this one just made me laugh even if it's not QUITE what I was planning to put in my post.

As a "baby bandster" I am doing lots of thinking about where I am in my life and WHY NOW is the time to make me a priority.  I constantly over-think everything..... and thinking about how to use the band and weightloss in general, is no exception.  The one thing though that I have decided is that this time, I choose to be successful.  I have had surgery...I have paid $13,000 out of pocket.....I have made a life decision to get my eating under control........I have chosen to be successful because there is no other option.  It may take me a year to get to my goal...or it may take 2 years....but, as long as I am not gaining and am in charge of my eating, I will be a success.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

Denial.  Kind of an ugly word isn't it?

I think I have been in denial the last two weeks.  Yep.  I haven't been very accurate with my food journal.  I kind of just guesstimate the calories of things that aren't packaged....clearly my guesses must be too low or I'd be losing weight.

Well, is going to help me be REAL with myself.

How do you track your food/calories and exercise?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Exercise Update

Well, today I went on the treadmill for 55 minutes and then worked on my "muscle machine"...that's what my kids call it.  (Technically it is off-brand of the Chuck Norris Total Body Gym.) Mine is by Weider see below.

I actually really like this piece of equipment.  Mine has NEVER seen the amount of incline noted in the picture of this workout warrior above does help strengthen and tone my arms and back.  You work out against your own body weight.  I do have to say that it has really firmed up my legs too!!

I have been continuing to exercise (see my ticker) but not quite as much as I had been the previous two weeks. I am sticking with trying to eat about 1600 calories + cross your fingers that the extra calories convince my body to let go of some fat.  We will see if this new combination is working when  I report on my weight on Monday the 15th.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

14 days & 1001 exercise minutes

I've got some good news and bad news. 

Good news:  I met my exercise goal for the month of August already!!! Yippee for me!  I have been working out like a fiend because it is summer and I have the time since I am off work.  I am also so newly banded that I just want to get the show on the road and jump start getting fit.

Bad news:   I haven't lost a single pound in those 14 days.  (Yep, wiping the tears from my cheeks as I type.) 

Where to go from here: well, I am going to try and eat a little more.  (It just seems counter-intuitive that I actually need to eat more calories than I am.  Duh..... eat less to lose weight....not the other way around.)  I have been trying to stay around 1200-1400 calories but several people have said that I need to eat more.  I looked this up on the internet and apparently for my current weight and activity level, I should be having approximately 1600 and then as I lose keep bringing the total number of calories down.  For my goal weight (130-135), it said to eat about 1400.

Am I crazy??  Does this sound at all right?

Friday, August 5, 2011


We answer a few questions in an effort to get to know each other better and
to give our blogging brains a break.  Thanks Draz!

Copy to your own blog and enjoy!

1.       I’m going to pick a person in your life – not knowing if you have a good or bad, existing or non-existent relationship with them – and your mission is to pick 5 words or traits or thoughts to describe them.
Your paternal grandmother.
I don't see her
Lives 1.5 hours away
wears red lipstick

2. What’s your all time favorite color to paint your nails? And your toes?

Nails – plum
Toes –matching color to polish on finger nails OR really bright toe polish w/ neutral on finger nails

3. Do you get along with your parents well?

Hmmm, I love my mom but she makes me crazy.  Haven't talked to dad in 15-18 years
4. Speaking of rainbows – rank the rainbow colors in the order you prefer.

           5. Repeat question. How was your week in real life and in blog land this week?
            Real life:  great.  Here's why:  fun time at the beach with the kids, tap class, zumba 3 times this week + 2 strength training classes, FREE TIME while kids are with grandparents, massage, out to dinner with bro-in-law and mom-in-law, 14th wedding anniversary on tuesday.  (started experimenting with extreme couponing for normal people....not sure if it was a good or bad experiment.  jury is still out.)

           Blog life:  not so good.  I haven't posted since 7/31 because I haven't had anything to report.  I am still waiting for my first fill, exercising my ass off (literally!), and trying to practice eating as if I had restriction.  Decided that a consistent size 8 instead of a scale number will be my goal.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Kids say the most interesting things

Last night we went to the "Symphony in the Park" put on in my town.  It was a great event with tons of things for the kids to do prior to the concert and very enjoyable music once the concert began.  Anyhoooooooooo, as we were leaving I was answering some questions my 7 year-old son had about the patriotic song tribute the orchestra put on at the end of the concert.  We were talking about the different branches of the military, what kinds of jobs military personnel have, how fortunate we are to have them, and why our country needs and appreciates those serving  in the military.

My son says:  "mom, I don't think I want to be in the military when I grow up-- it sounds like a really hard job.  I think I will get an easy a doctor."  (I got a giggle out of that one.)  I think he's right though.

For all of you out there who have friends and family in the military, THANK YOU.  I appreciate everything these young men and women do to keep us safe and able to live a wonderful life in the USA.  I know I am not alone in this sentiment.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Buyers Remorse

Well, happy one-month band-a-versary to me!  The 'happy' part is a lie though.  I am one month out from surgery and have been at a plateau for two weeks...yes, you read that right, TWO WEEKS.  Now, prior to surgery, I did do some work on my "eating issues," pretended to have the band so I  followed the "rules" and followed the pre-op diet seriously.... I lost 25 lbs. in 6 months.  (I still have a good 45 lbs. to lose)  Not earth shattering weight loss but it was better than the alternative.....losing nothing and staying obese.

I somehow believed with the virtual calorie defict I was accruing the first few weeks post-op, that I would lose like 10-15 lbs this first month.  (Maybe I was delusional but based on what all of your blogs said about your first month, I didn't think that was too crazy!)  Nope, I lost 6.  I was down to 10 lbs and then started eating like 800 or 1000 (note sarcasm here) calories and my body just said "hey, let's hold on to these!"  I started my period 8 days early, and continued to spot until 2 days ago.  Clearly, something is going on.

The bottom line:  it's hard not to be frustrated when this should be my "big weight loss month" and it's just not.  Have you seen my exercise ticker?????  I am working like a crazy person and the damn scale just refuses to budge.  (btw: my surgeon says I am "doing fine" and "right on track"-- first fill won't be until the 23rd of August.  Ugh!!!!)

I think I want my money back.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dancing Shoes!

I started tap class last night....yep, tap.  Here is my background into my serious dance training:

I took tap when I was like 6 years old for 8 weeks.  I took tap again back in 1989 or 1990 in college.  You can see where this is going right?

Here I am starting up tap again.  Do I know the moves?  Nope.  Can I make all the sounds with my shoes?  Nope.  Was I laughing like crazy last night when I couldn't get a combination?  YEP! 

It's good for my brain to try and do the combinations & it's good for me to do something just for me.  (I did even break a sweat....I think because the room was hot, not because we were working so hard.)  I needed new tap shoes because the ones from 1989 and pre-kids were soooooo tight.

I also bought Zumba shoes...kind of frivolous but I have been wanting them for a year.  Since it's summer and I am off work, I am able to go to a few Zumba classes a week instead of just Saturday morning.  I think the shoes will make me want to workout harder...........right??  ha ha!  Also, If I am going to be in the front of the class exercising (see yesterday's post) then I better be workin' it.

This is the year I make ME a priority.

p.s. do I get to count my "tap class" minutes on my exercise ticker??

Have a good one!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Trying something new

I took the advice of the super successful LapBandGal today.  A few weeks ago she blogged about making herself go to the FRONT of the room for Jazzercise or Zumba.  She said that being in the front makes her work harder....she might just have something there.

Now I love to exercise (don't be annoyed) but I NEVER, I repeat, NEVER stand in the front of the room.  I don't want to have to look at myself in the mirror, I don't want the people behind me to have to see my fat jiggle, I really don't know the moves that well, and I am usually sucking wind.  That said, this morning I got to the gym early for Zumba and picked a spot way up in the front.  I didn't know the moves well, my fat was jiggling, I only glanced at myself in the mirror a few times, & I was sweating..........BUT I did work hard because the teacher was right there...I couldn't hide and half-ass it.  She kept making eye-contact so I had to smile and try and put my all into it.

Darn it....I guess I should always go to the front.

Monday, July 25, 2011

What I have told my kids

I have two kids, ages five and seven.  They have gone with me to a few appointments over the last 6 weeks or so while I was getting ready for surgery.  I explained to them that something isn't quite right with mommy's tummy and the doctors are going to fix it.  (I stayed in the hospital for 24 hours so they knew something was up.)

Now that I am about a month out from surgery, they see that my incisions are healing up, I can go swimming, and start eating "real food."  My son did announce at dinner that "I am eating more than Mom, how is she going to grow?"  My husband and I just laughed but told him that my tummy doesn't want me to have too much can only handle a little at a time or I will start having problems again.

Does that seem like an appropriate amount of information to give them?  What did you tell your kids?

Friday, July 22, 2011

The band goes on vacation

I am on a trip with my very best friends. I packed for all the activities we are going to do and I packed for any food situation. Being that I am still on purred and soft food stage I wanted to make sure that I would have something in my purse and in our hotel fridge so that I will make good choices. (Plus it doesn't help to have  anxiety if we go out to eat and there isn't something friendly on the menu.)

Well, at one point we went to Subway.... I was a little nervous.  The girls I was with know that I got the band but this was really my first food situation I had to deal with.  I just figured that I would get soup of the day  if it was "post-op friendly" type.  (The employee laughed when I asked what soup they had...granted it was 109 degrees out but I did have a valid question.)  They didn't have soup so I just drank the protein drink in my purse.

Soooooo--what did you do to be prepared for "band friendly" food when you are out and about and new to eating with the band?  Did you (or do you) have a "go to" item on the menu or something to eat that you always travel with in your purse?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

I know it's too early to be frustrated but....

Here I am two and half weeks post-op and things were moving right along on the scale.  I hit -10 lbs. and then jumped up 3 on the day I started my period.  That's where I have stayed.  Now, normally I would NOT complain about losing 7 lbs. in 2 1/2 weeks BUT everyone says they lost the most the first month after surgery.  I keep looking at my food journal....I am only eating around 800 can I NOT be losing any pounds????  I thought maybe I wasn't eating enough so today I am trying for 1000 or 1200 calories to see if that helps.  (Prior to surgery, I was trying to eat between 1200-1400 cal per day and was able to lose 25 lbs. over six months.  Now I am having less and nada........)

Can anyone explain this????

Friday, July 15, 2011


It’s Friday so that means it’s BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer questions today in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you so desire…and ENJOY!!

1. Let’s do something crazy….I’m going to list the rainbow colors and you type the first FOOD item that pops into your head that symbolizes that color for you…’s mine:

Red – strawberries
Orange – sweet potato
Yellow – squash
Green – salad
Blue – jello (my kids are always asking me to buy the blue kind.....why?  is blue a flavor?)
Purple – grapes...seedless of course
Brown – steak (can you tell the pureed diet is getting to me?????????????)
Black – oreos

2. What is on your kitchen table right now?

magazines, pencil box full of school supplies, some legos, a crumpled napkin.  Oh yes, you can see that I run a tight ship over here.  I am a picture of tidiness---well two kids will do that to a person.  Note the sarcasm.

3. What movie do you watch again and again and again? Not like what movie have you seen 5 times…but like what movie have you seen 30 times or more?

When Harry Met Sally, Sliding Doors, While You Were Sleeping---  I can't pick one.

4. If Satan had a last name – what would it be?

Satan is sooooooo busy, he doesn't even have time for a last name.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Blogland:  really need to wrote on my own blog more, very inconsistent, but I do keep checking up on everyone else!

Real life:  Feeling great and about 98% like my old self now that I am 15 days post-op.  I did hit  
- 10 pounds since surgery and then started my (.) a week early.  Hmmmmm.  Hopefully, that -10 will still be there.

Lots of activities with the kiddos and their friends.  We started "summer school" at my house...really it's just 15 minutes of bridge work for the fall but I try to make it fun and use a funny name & voice, the kids seem to like it enough to get whatever I assign done.  Did lots of chores and laundry.  Went to the pool and water park.  Saw my surgeon today....says my port is just in a "perfect spot" for accessibility.  (Damn, who knew I would waste all of my overachieving on my port healing nicely???  I was holding out for the weight loss portion)

Have a good weekend!!!