Monday, April 23, 2012

Oh my goodness...I feel horrible

Ok people...I have made it through 8 weeks being too tight.

I know I have said this before, but I just wanted the band to help me with portion control and satiation. I feel like the last 8 weeks has taught me everything I DON'T WANT WITH THE BAND. I am skipping meals, eating sliders just to get in some calories, drinking calories, passing up fruit and veggies because they are too dense....none of this is what I was planning on when I got my first big fill back on feb. 13th.

I FINALLY get to see the dr. Tomorrow and I am just dying here. I am on day 2 of acid reflux, can 't eat more than a bite...tummy pains not my band...just below my belly button...and I keep burping.

I have only eaten a protein drink, 1/2 protein bar, and 1 bite of turkey chili. What is going on? ( stopped w/ the chili b/ c I was worried it would make the heartburn worse).

I am miserable.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I know I haven't posted in awhile....

Here's the deal....

I haven't posted lately b/c I have been in a yucky place. I feel horrible.

I am pretty sure I am starving. My stomach is a mess. I feel hollow and then crampy when I eat. I know I have been too tight for awhile. I got a super aggressive fill on feb. 13. Went back the next day and had 1 cc removed b/c I was in serious pain. The week that followed was touch and go...still could barely eat but it seemed to be getting better. I just stupidly hung out at this level because I was hoping to drop some pounds. I ccan only eat 1/4 to 1/3 cup of food...which limits my ability to workout. By the end of march I KNEW that I had to see the dr, and get an unfill.

The first appointment they could give me was a day I was out of town camping. The next available appointment is April 24th since the dr. Was on vacation for like 8 days. Now I am a week away but can not take it anymore! I have called in every day looking for a cancellation. I am not at the point that I am going to the ER or panic but I am trying to get in calories any way I can.

This goes against everything I am trying to do....I want to get to the point where I love my band like all of u.

I feel like my husband is annoyed that I chose the and b/c he sees how much I am struggling with being uncomfortable.

I am actually depressed about the situation.

Soooooooo, this is why I haven't posted...I am just whining and a mess.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Ten Things Thursday...thanks LB

1.  I couldn't be any happier on this particularly Thursday....yep, the day before Spring Break.  One more lesson left to teach before having vacation.  (My teens thought we should just blow off today and tomorrow since "it's so close to Spring Break."    Hilarious aren't they??)

2.  I mentally CAN NOT take the idea of having to write another letter of recommendation.  I made it through all the college apps and now it's scholarship apps.  I love my teens but WHY OH WHY do I have a hard time telling them "NO---sorry,  I am overwhelmed with the amount of regular work I am behind on???"  oh yeah, that's right, it's because i care about their future success.  Ugh.

3.  I think I am going to play BINGO will be me and the blue-hairs. 

Not really, meeting a friend  there but still undecided b/c I am behind on grading.  Yuck. Boring!!  Hubby says to go...the grading will get done over vacation.

4.  I am wondering why I don't EVER put any pictures of myself on my blog??  I have always been a bit unhappy with what pictures of me look like, but I have lost 57 bad can a new pix be? 

5.  I tried a new snack this week.  It certainly isn't for everyone but it's the "Snackable" by Oscar Meyer.  It is marketed for toddlers.  Now I know you are thinking "it's crap."  Well not really.  I tried the Turkey, Mozzarella, and baby Ritz crackers.  140 calories.  I thought it was a great mini-meal at work.  The meat is diced into tiny pieces...perfect for my band!  I bought them to try b/c they were on sale $1 for a 2 pack.  At .50 a snack, I couldn't complain.  Cheaper than a protein bar and gave me some variety.  did I mention how CONVENIENT it was???  I couldn't find a picture to post though.

6.  I hit a new low today....148.8 oh yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh....whooops.  Hope I don't jinx with my celebration  because my weigh-in is technically tomorrow.

7.  Went to support group last night......all 2 of us were there!   (We did meet a lady who is considering Lap Band.  She was very nice.)  This is why I need all of you and your blogs!!  I may not be the best "comment giver" but I faithfully read all of your blogs EVERY DAY....even when I am super busy.  It's my down-time once I get home.

8.  I received a boatload of compliments this week at work.  My colleague told me today "whatever workout routine you are doing had better stop because you are going to disappear."  I just laughed at him.   I am not a twig....but I am getting pretty fit!

9.  A group of 20 of my former students (period 3 from last school year) threw me a "surprise party" the other day at lunch.  They showed up with a cake just because they missed me!  (See this is why I get sucked into writing all those letters of rec!!!  Most teens are just awesome!)

10.  Skipped working out today.....I  know it's healthy to take a day of rest every once in awhile but I feel guilty.

Have a good FRIDAY!!  I know I will.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

How do you know when you are full?

How does one know when they are full?  I have seen this question asked before but I still am unclear on what to look for.

How is it possible that I can go from eating my tiny bites, chewing a billion times, pausing between bites, to taking ONE MORE BITE and winding up in extreme PAIN????  (Even a H-rsh-y's kiss as dessert could send me to the painful hard stop!!!!)

One more thing.....why oh why do I (we bandsters) have burps from DEEP DOWN inside?  Multiple burps?  Can anyone explain??

Monday, April 2, 2012

Ok people...there are some benefits to being on the tight side of band living

I have been struggling for the last few weeks with the thought that I am a little too tight.

Not "stuck" if I eat anything kind of tight---just super full by eating 1/2 cup of food.  (I have either 5.3or 5.5 cc in my 10 cc band.)  Sometimes I can't even eat my 1.5 oz of lean protein and 2 green beans.  This is what I am talking about.  I thought our goal was to eat 1/2 to 3/4 cup of food at a meal.  Do I have this mixed up??? 

Here's the good news:  I have reached a new low on the scale.....149.4.  Total of 56 lbs. GONE!!  9.4 more to go to maintenance.

Here's the bad news:  I know that some days I am way under my calorie intake goal.  I either need to eat ice cream (not nutritionally sound) or something easy to get down before bed and just hope I don't go into starvation mode.  (Who knew this would be a "problem?")  I know I need to get better nutrition in and not just try and force some calories in.

I have an appointment scheduled for the 24th and tried to call today in hopes someone had cancelled.  Dr. is going on vacation all of next week sooooooo oh well.  At least I am not in pain so I can handle the tightness a bit longer.