Ten Things.........Saturday. Yep, I don't care...I am doing it anyway!

I have been away from my computer for far too long.

 I have been reading your posts, commenting...but not as often as I should..... but where has my motivation to write gone???  who knows? 

I am dedicating this TTT to update all of you on my weird pains....stomach- back-side pain...is this a band slip type situtaion? 

1.  had a total unfill about a month ago.

2.  Upper GI came back fine.  No slip...yippee

3.  Had an abdominal ultrasound to check things out....everyone seemed to be leaning towards the gallbladder acting up.

4.  Ultrasound came back great!  Had the doc who read the ultrasound, the GP, and my surgeon all confused.

5.  Apparently, nothing is wrong with me......except for the weird 9-12 hour episodes of horrible pain and the chills 3 different times over May and June.  But nothing seems to be wrong.

6.  found out my stoma can hold 24 cc in volume.  Surgeon says that's a bit on the small size...30 cc is the norm.  Really though...who out there knows how big their stoma is?? Could this account for the crazy reaction I have to the slightest fill?  Is this why eating even a 1/2 cup of food when I was filled would be impossible?  He also said something else was on the small size in diameter.  Hmmmmm.

7.  Right now I have 1.5 cc in my band and I think the most I will ever get to is going to be 2.5 cc in a 10 cc band.  Crazy huh?  I just can't seem to have much in the band with out it slamming shut.  (also see #8)

8.  Why so little in the band?  Reason #1:  Well, after a very scary month of being completely UNFILLED, I was able to fight my food addiction and not gain any weight.  It was actually kind of scary though.  I did have one binge...not too bad...but the event scared me b/c I could have completely gone back to my old ways.  It was hard to keep things in check because I could eat whatever I wanted!  Reason #2 I am about 2.5 lbs away from my goal weight of 140.  No need to get myself into some crazy pain & stuck episodes for 2.5 measly pounds.

9.  Unfortunately, those 2.5 lbs are taunting me.  Up and down the scale goes but so far, except for that one HORRIBLE day when I couldn't eat a thing and weighed 140 the next day, that scale will not move below 142.  I am not hung up on the number really, but that 140 magical number is my goal and why be content to stop trying this close to it???

10.  my BMI is a 26 according to my surgeon.  Am I normal and healthy yet????

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Oh my goodness...I feel horrible

Ok people...I have made it through 8 weeks being too tight.

I know I have said this before, but I just wanted the band to help me with portion control and satiation. I feel like the last 8 weeks has taught me everything I DON'T WANT WITH THE BAND. I am skipping meals, eating sliders just to get in some calories, drinking calories, passing up fruit and veggies because they are too dense....none of this is what I was planning on when I got my first big fill back on feb. 13th.

I FINALLY get to see the dr. Tomorrow and I am just dying here. I am on day 2 of acid reflux, can 't eat more than a bite...tummy pains not my band...just below my belly button...and I keep burping.

I have only eaten a protein drink, 1/2 protein bar, and 1 bite of turkey chili. What is going on? ( stopped w/ the chili b/ c I was worried it would make the heartburn worse).

I am miserable.

I know I haven't posted in awhile....

Here's the deal....

I haven't posted lately b/c I have been in a yucky place. I feel horrible.

I am pretty sure I am starving. My stomach is a mess. I feel hollow and then crampy when I eat. I know I have been too tight for awhile. I got a super aggressive fill on feb. 13. Went back the next day and had 1 cc removed b/c I was in serious pain. The week that followed was touch and go...still could barely eat but it seemed to be getting better. I just stupidly hung out at this level because I was hoping to drop some pounds. I ccan only eat 1/4 to 1/3 cup of food...which limits my ability to workout. By the end of march I KNEW that I had to see the dr, and get an unfill.

The first appointment they could give me was a day I was out of town camping. The next available appointment is April 24th since the dr. Was on vacation for like 8 days. Now I am a week away but can not take it anymore! I have called in every day looking for a cancellation. I am not at the point that I am going to the ER or panic but I am trying to get in calories any way I can.

This goes against everything I am trying to do....I want to get to the point where I love my band like all of u.

I feel like my husband is annoyed that I chose the and b/c he sees how much I am struggling with being uncomfortable.

I am actually depressed about the situation.


Soooooooo, this is why I haven't posted...I am just whining and a mess.