Friday, May 10, 2013

Triple T!

Hello all,
  I am ready for another installment of Ten Things Thursday...hope you are too!

1.  Feeling really depressed lately.  I feel out of control when it comes to food.  I am trying to track my food on MFP in hopes of taking back the control but usually stop putting things in by 4pm.  It's a form of denial.

2.  This weekend is the Wine Country Half Marathon...I am missing out on participating because of my surgery to remove the band.  Talk about a double whammy!  Bummer.

3.  I had a meltdown of EPIC PROPORTIONS last night.  I have been really depressed for the last's all related to my band removal.  I feel loss, anger at my dr. and life, frustrated that I spent all of the money and the band failed me, fear that I will gain all the weight back. 

My husband was sooooooo supportive.  He said so many great things BUT he does not understand the idea of binge eating.  He doesn't get the "compulsiveness" of it.

4.  I binged last night.  Yes that is what sent me over the edge into hysteria. I ate 3 whole zucchini's (see picture from the recipe below) along with 3 oz of baked chicken.  I know, at least it wasn't a pint of ice cream but WHO DOES THAT?????  Zucchini???  This is the's not logical.  This is the compulsiveness....I just kept going back for more.  Picking at it.  WHY???  It scared me right down to more core.  All of the hard work I have done over the last two years seemed to disappear and I felt exactly how I have felt me entire life (before the band) ............I felt powerless around food.

5.  I am trying lots of different home workouts available on YouT*be.  I am really interested in the Tracy And*rs*n ones....seems like it might be a good supplement to working the large muscle groups at the gym.  Anyone done these??? (I'm not doing the post preggo workout but it's still her in the picture :0)

6.  Next week I am going to see the surgeon who removed my band.  He's not the dr. who placed it, but I felt like he was very straight forward with me.  I put off my follow up appointment (as part of my denial) because I want to talk about the vertical sleeve but I don't think I will like what he has to say.

7.  I am hooked on "pop corners" snacks.  I just love them!!!

8.  This month is the LONGEST ever!!!  I just have to make it until June....then I can count down the days until summer vacation.  (AS much as I enjoy my job, I really despise the month of May.)

9.  Going to get a mani/pedi on Sunday for Mother's Day. 

10.  Finally going to watch the "Amazing Race" finale tonight with all the neighbors.  Give me the strength not to overeat.

Have a good one!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The end of the weekend

Its the end of another weekend.  who ever wants to go to work on mondays?  not me.  maybe my really random things to share will take your mind off of it being a Monday:

1.  I seemed to have adopted the term "shitastic" into my vocabulary thanks to Laura belle

2.  Watched about 5 episodes of "Lock Up"  marathon wondering if Rambo(Drazil's man) deals with these kinds of people.

3.  I was singing to Wham on the the top of my lungs mind you.....just yesterday.  1982 is wondering what is wrong with me.  Can't blame that on any of you bloggers!

4.  I am actually missing my run/walk workouts.  (Did I really just type that?) i went back to exercising this week but just walking at 3.5 mph.  Tried elliptical & light weights yesterday at the gym..still feel a little pull at the former port site but its only been 2.5 weeks.  I really need to get my sweat on...I hate running but I love the feeling when I am done...clear headed. Slim Katie talks about this.

5.  Still trying to follow all of the "band" rules even though I could just eat and eat and eat.  I definitely notice my hunger levels are fullness at all....ability to eat anything and everything.  Fortunately, my weight is hanging in around 141 - 143.  My goal weight is 145.

Hope your week starts off great.