Thursday, July 26, 2012

TTT

It's triple T baby!  (I am channeling my inner Guy Fieri...you know..."Drive-Ins, Diners, & Dives."  Anyone?  anyone?  Bueller?  Tap Tap...is this thing on????)  Thank you  Laura Belle for our Ten Things Thursday.

1.  Started my day with my husband harassing me when I went to get on the scale.  He says "whoa babe, living life on the edge huh?" 

do you want to know why he said this?

I was getting on the scale fully clothed!!!  (it was funny but what a wise ass!)

2.  I made sugar cookies with the monkeys today.  Monkey #2 has been begging to do decorate cookies since school got out....mommy kept postponing.  Ugh!  Doesn't she know that cookie dough is my kryptonite???

3.  Had a full on "graze-a-thon" yesterday.  Just kept snacking.  So mad at myself!  I did try and get things back in check today....until.....we made.....some cookies (above) .....i have had 3.  Damn I don't want to go journal those things in MFP right now.

4.  going to the beach tomorrow with several other "kindergarten" families.  Monkey #2 is sooooooo excited to see her school friends.

5.  did some walk/run intervals this morning.  I hate running but I can do it a minute at a time. 

6.  bought two pairs of shoes today...you will be voting on them, and the dress I think they go with, in the next few days.

7.  gonna get my sweat on tomorrow morning at ZUMBA with my favorite instructor.  I am also going to the gym 40 mins. before class to get my leg workout in.

8.  hoping my weight will magically get back to 142 because I am starting to see an upward trend on the scale and me no likey!

9.  One of the benefits of having virtually no fluid in my band is I can enjoy diet soda with out any problems.  The down side is I have to limit my intake or I don't drink enough plain water.  (Lap Band Gal reminded us of the issues of too much citric acid in ..... LBG: are you bulimic?  )  On my graze-a-thon yesterday I drank an entire 2 liter bottle of diet coke.  yikes.

10.  I am looking forward to going to a "symphony" in the park this weekend.  Not usually my type of music, I can apprecite it, plus it's only once a year.  It also helps offset the other 364 days of listening to the junk food of music like Katy Perry, Pink, Bruno Mars, etc.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Do you ever ......?

Do you ever wonder if your clothes won't fit even though they fit yesterday?

I do.  I sometimes worry, stress ....freak my self out...that overnight I gained back all 60+ pounds.

Do you ever find yourself watching a "diet" infomercial or reading an ad for some "magic diet pill" and seriously considering it?

I do.  I forget that I am close to my goal weight.  I still have those moments when I feel desperate to take charge of my weight.  Then I realize, I don't need that infomerical/ pill....I am working my band.

Do you ever feel like you look fit only to see yourself in a different mirror and think....is that what I really look like?

I do.  Sometimes the mirror shows a different body than I feel like I have.  Which image is "real?"

Do you ever force yourself to go to bed because that is the only way to make sure you don't eat anything else for the day?

I do.  I am going to bed right now for that exact reason.

I know I have come a long way in the last 20 months dealing with the mental component of food addiction......the negative self talk, the compulsiveness, the thoughts about food.........but I still have so far to go.  One day at a time.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Palm Springs, CA

Westin
Monkey #1 giving me a piggy back ride.
 We just got back from a little vacation.  We stayed at the Westin Villas (above) and had a blast.  For those of you unfamiliar with Palm Springs, it is H-O-T in the summer.  That's why we go...it's cheaper to stay in the HOT months...plus, it's close & nice pool to hang out in all day.  We basically lived in that pool by the way!!!







Monkey #2 wasn't tall enough to ride alone on the hotel's waterslide but Mom & Dad were happy to go with her.

  Now, pre-band, I would have still gone on the waterslide but I would have felt self-conscious.  Not this year, I really didn't think about walking around in my bathing suit. 

Do I have a rocking body?  NO!!! Do I have a normal "mom body?"  Hell yes. 



Out to dinner with the Mr.

At the pool with the Mr.

I did NOT journal my food while on vacation.  I DID eat some things I shouldn't have like Pecan Sandies and puffy Cheetos.  I DID go to the gym every day but one and worked out hard!!!  I did NOT have a binge while under the influence of alcohol...it was close, but friends and hubby kept an eye on my Cheetos consumption. I DID do a great job at portion control of meals.  Overall,  I DID have a wonderful time. 

Yesterday, I weighed in at 146 and started journaling my food and exercise again.  (TOM so my weight was more retention related than vacation related...thank goodness!)  Today, 143 lbs.  So I seemed to have maintained while on vacation.  Phew.  Thank you band.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Ten Things.........Saturday. Yep, I don't care...I am doing it anyway!

I have been away from my computer for far too long.

 I have been reading your posts, commenting...but not as often as I should..... but where has my motivation to write gone???  who knows? 

I am dedicating this TTT to update all of you on my weird pains....stomach- back-side pain...is this a band slip type situtaion? 

1.  had a total unfill about a month ago.

2.  Upper GI came back fine.  No slip...yippee

3.  Had an abdominal ultrasound to check things out....everyone seemed to be leaning towards the gallbladder acting up.

4.  Ultrasound came back great!  Had the doc who read the ultrasound, the GP, and my surgeon all confused.

5.  Apparently, nothing is wrong with me......except for the weird 9-12 hour episodes of horrible pain and the chills 3 different times over May and June.  But nothing seems to be wrong.

6.  found out my stoma can hold 24 cc in volume.  Surgeon says that's a bit on the small size...30 cc is the norm.  Really though...who out there knows how big their stoma is?? Could this account for the crazy reaction I have to the slightest fill?  Is this why eating even a 1/2 cup of food when I was filled would be impossible?  He also said something else was on the small size in diameter.  Hmmmmm.

7.  Right now I have 1.5 cc in my band and I think the most I will ever get to is going to be 2.5 cc in a 10 cc band.  Crazy huh?  I just can't seem to have much in the band with out it slamming shut.  (also see #8)

8.  Why so little in the band?  Reason #1:  Well, after a very scary month of being completely UNFILLED, I was able to fight my food addiction and not gain any weight.  It was actually kind of scary though.  I did have one binge...not too bad...but the event scared me b/c I could have completely gone back to my old ways.  It was hard to keep things in check because I could eat whatever I wanted!  Reason #2 I am about 2.5 lbs away from my goal weight of 140.  No need to get myself into some crazy pain & stuck episodes for 2.5 measly pounds.

9.  Unfortunately, those 2.5 lbs are taunting me.  Up and down the scale goes but so far, except for that one HORRIBLE day when I couldn't eat a thing and weighed 140 the next day, that scale will not move below 142.  I am not hung up on the number really, but that 140 magical number is my goal and why be content to stop trying this close to it???

10.  my BMI is a 26 according to my surgeon.  Am I normal and healthy yet????

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!