After Drazil's http://www.justmedrazilandsheniqua.com/ most recent BYOC on Friday the 28th, I really got to thinking. (Oh I know, I try not to do that too often.) Many items talked about why you blog, who knows about your blog and or surgery, if you are public or anonymous, etc. I started to realize that I am not being truly honest on my own blog. I tell the truth about what I post BUT there is a lot I leave out.
1. I have never posted my weight..... today it's 164 but I don't want anyone to do the math and see "holy shit she was 205 at one point." (only 24 more pounds to go though!!)
2. I have kept my surgery a secret from almost everyone...about 15 people know and this is including only a few family members. I am afraid that people would discount the work you have to do to make this tool work. ( I am actually kind of ashamed that I couldn't deal with my "food issues" with out help.) There is so much of a stigma attached to WLS....people wrongly assume it's a "magic wand" or the "easy way out." WE know that is not the case. I have to work every single day to follow the rules.
3. I am a food addict. I use food to cope. I use food to soothe. I love the way food feels while I am chewing it. (Notice I didn't say how food tastes....for 25 years I don't think I really tasted the food as much as ate it as fast as I could.) Things have changed though over the last 11 months. I try to really savor each bite.........it could be all that chewing before swallowing, trying to listen to my body, think about "am I satisfied" etc. that forces me to focus on the taste. Regardless, I am glad.
4. I get so much from all of your blogs and I don't really ever thank you. I was reading your blogs well before I had even admitted to myself that I was going to get the surgery. Your words, victories and struggles inspire me every day. Thank you.