funny quotes

"In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips, and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale."

— Stephen Phillips

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job.  ~Donald D. Quinn

Fun-sized Snickers? Who’s this fun for? Not me. I need six or seven of these babies in a row to start having fun.
Jeff Carlin

I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
W.C. Fields

Hope you are having a good day!