Happy One YEAR Band-a-versary to ME!

June 30th.....2011........ that was my surgery date.

The day of surgery...weighing 180.... after losing 25 lbs fighting my food addiction and doing the pre-op diet.

I was soooooo nervous.  I wasn't worried about anesthesia, or recovery.  I was worried about whether I could do "it."  You know....lose weight with the band or would I fail again??  Would my husband resent me every month as we made my surgery payment if I wasn't successful???

I didn't fail.....and I won't ever.

I have definitely had my ups and downs this year with my band.  (No restriction for months followed by too much restriction.....lots of PB's and the learning curve of how to eat properly with a band.)

Weight loss has not been easy. 

Weight loss has not been quick.

But I am doing it!!!

June 2012 at 143...loss of 63 lbs. total....so far!

I know the band is helping....I have never lost this much weight EVER and been this close to maintenance.  I have never eaten small portions with out a boat load of resentment for what I "can't have or the amount that I want."  The band has shown me ---mostly through negative consequences----what I can eat and how much of food I can have.  I know that exercise pays off. 

I will lose those last few pounds and I will maintain.  You will all be there to help me.......I know you will..........and because of that, I will not fail.

Ten Things THURSDAY!!!

Thanks again to the lovely and hilarious Laura Belle for our TTT.

1.  WHY CAN'T I FIGURE OUT HOW TO LINK LAURA BELLE's blog to mine when I try and thank her?????  This boggles the shit out of my pea brain!

2.  update on my tummy issues: had the upper GI last week.  Here's how it went:

*radiologist said "do you have a special kind of lap-band?"  (oh shit!!  this can't be a good start to the x ray)

my response was NO.... but why?   he said "it looks like you have an extra small stoma."  I told him that my band was COMPLETELY empty and didn't know what else to say about what is considered a normal sized stoma or not!  

Ultimately, he did some measurements, said he didn't see a band slip, and everything with the band looks good.  Esophagus looked good.   (His report arrived a few days later and confirmed that.  Follow-up call and letter by my GP said the same --now on to a gallbladder ultrasound. Going to send reports to band dr. too)

3.  I bought my first pair of size 6 shorts last weekend.  They do have a little stretch in the denim BUT I will take it.  By the way, I think my butt looks good in them!!!  That's some good self-talk for a change!  Did I mention.........size 6?????  I was a size 6 once...for about a week.....back in the 90s when I was taking the miracle diet drug phen-phen....it was such a good week.  ha ha!

4.  You may not have caught in item #2 but I am completely unfilled.  This is a scary place for a food addict.  I have made a few bad choices (i.e. a slice of pizza, some orzo pasta, a sandwich from Sub*ay....not that these foods should be totally off limits BUT for the last 7-8 months I COULD NOT eat them b/c my band wouldn't allow me too)  but limited the quantity.   I am trying to follow the "band rules" even though I know I physically don't have any limitations.  Man this is hard.

5.  Being off work for the summer means I can work out every day!  Yeah for toning!

6.  I hit my goal weight of 140 two weeks ago after not eating for a few days because of the the stomach and back pain.  It didn't last....I knew it wouldn't.

7.   I weighed in at 143.5 today so I still have 3.5 to lose to get to maintenance.  I want to maintain between 138-142.

8.  Lap-band dr. is out of town.  Waiting for him to return to get his advice at how we move forward from here.  I am thinking that I just want to go back to maybe 3 cc in my band and see if that will be doable for maintenance.  (I am a bit anxious though about how many fills that will take since my body freaks out at the smallest fill--my "paid in full"  year is almost up---how expensive will this be??)

9.  I purchased new workout wear from Old N*vy on-line.  I still have a hard time ordering Mediums...I always want to hedge and at least try large (let alone XL or XXL or plus.)  I think my brain has some catching up to do with my new sizes. 


10.  I know I still haven't posted any pictures.  I don't know why......I seem to talk myself out of taking the 'after" pictures.  I am going to get over this though---just you wait.

An update.....to the update...catchy title huh???

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

the saga continues....surprisingly I am in a good mood though.

Ok, went to see my Lap Band dr. today...he squeezed me in....got a complete unfill.  When he took everything out the liquid amounted to 2cc.  yep, I thought I was at 3.5.  Now I know some liquid is still in the tubing but my band is empty.  Surgeon is convinced that my issues are not band related....how can they be with so little in the band????  I am almost a year out...kind of late for a slip....no port pain....would be in the ER if it was erosion....etc.

I feel like he (the surgeon) doesn't even want to go there (i.e. "band hell" where everything that could go wrong does).....I kept asking about a slip or my stomach coming up through the band etc. but he thinks maybe gallbladder or acid reflux disease.  (I am rooting for him to be right but worry that he isn't)

On to doctor #2 today.  The General Practitioner seems to agree w/ surgeon...thinking more likely gallbladder or pancreas issues.  He is having me get the Upper GI tomorrow and then ordered a gallbladder ultrasound for the following week.  Also wants me to start taking an anti-acid daily.

So that's the scoop....at least for now.  Not sure what, if anything, I will find out tomorrow.  Cross your fingers for me that it is NOT a slipped band or erosion. 

Update

Due to an insurance SNAFU I wasn't able to get my upper GI today. kind of ironic b/c my insurance did not cover my surgery in the first place but....

Going to the surgeon tomorrow.. Not sure how that is going to go. I will probably get a complete unfill. I am starting to wonder if maybe my issues are NOT band related...maybe that is just hoping.

Through tears today my friend tried to talk me off the ledge....I am panicked that my band is messed up & I will have to get it removed. That would be 13k down the drain and open up a whole lot of worry about how I can maintain with out some help from the band.

The bottom line is something is wrong. I read what you people eat & I can't even imagine eating most of it....i am too busy being in the fetal position for days at a time b/c I had chicken.

It's a "Love/Hate" type of relationship

It's been a few weeks since I have posted.

Let me tell you why....if you don't have anything nice to say....don't say anything at all.  Yep, I have been on a rollercoaster of hating my band.  I don't want to scare the newbies but here's the truth.

Don't laugh...I know I wrote a post awhile back about how much I loved my band...the irony huh?

Literally 2 days after that 'sunshine and rainbows' post....wham, my band slammed shut.  Over a french fry mind you.  (I don't remember seeing those on the what to avoid list...did I miss something?)

I was miserable for 2 hours...finally threw up 3 times...then seemed ok.  Only problem is that 3rd throw up seemed different than a PB.  It felt like it came from deep down..............

Woke up the next day in pain.  Just thought band was a bit irritated.  Started drinking my water and shake in the morning and by the time I got to work at 7am I thought I had the flu.  I was in so much pain in my upper abdominal region and my back.  I was shaking and had chills.  Called a sub and went home to sleep for 6 hours.

Well, this nonsense went on for another 2 days.  Each day was a bit better but nerve pain all in my back and I couldn't eat.  So was it the flu or did my band slip?

Went to see the dr. and he was no help.  He didn't really know what to say to me.  I told him to take out fluid so he removed 1.5cc leaving me at 3.5cc. Scheduled me for an upper GI  which will finally be done tomorrow 6/18.

 I wish now I would have had him take everything out of the band because the saga continues.....

After babying the band for a week, I figured I could get used to this new fill level (3.5) and deal with it since I was so close to goal.  I was hungry every two hours but otherwise things were going well. 

At least until this past THURSDAY 6/14.  Since my band was so loose, the food addict in me decided to try pizza....I haven't had pizza in a year.  I normally can't do bread of any sort and can tell on the first bite that it's not going down.  Well, I ate about 1/4 of a small piece of thin crust over about 20 mins.  Everything was great.  I was excited that I did it with out getting stuck.

Friday, 6/15 was not so good.  I was burping like crazy upon waking.  Drank my protein drink in small sips but kept burping.  Went to Zumba...seemed to help .......but after class the burping continued and I started getting back pain.  So Friday was a mess....barely ate anything, tried to deal w/ the non-stop burps and back pain. Woke up in middle of the night to stomach acid shooting into my mouth.  (Was this b/c of the pizza????  Fine when I ate it and for hours after but then the next day when I tried to have a protein drink my band said NO WAY!!!)

Saturday, 6/16 was worse.  (Is this still b/c of the pizza??) I was miserable all day.  Burping like crazy, back pain, upper abdominal pain.  Drinking would upset my tummy too.  I did not have that upper chest pain (under your breast bone) like I get if I am stuck, but I was not doing well.  Heartburn all day.  PB'd twice on water and purred soup.

Here we are now, Father's Day, 6/17.  Doing much better now but only after I PB'd on water this morning.  WTF????  I then took a 2 hour nap...I think my body is soooooooo stressed.  Eventually, I did eat 4 oz of purreed soup, 2/3 of a protein drink, and a few oz of frozen yogurt today.  Right now the back pain seems to be gone and so are the burps.

So---there you have it.  I am freaking out about having the upper GI tomorrow.  If I am having a hard time w/ water....how am I gonna get that liquid cement down???  I am afraid I do have a slipped band and what does that mean???

I will let you know.
p.s. I made goal today......140....but based on the last 2 weeks, it was not worth it.

Here's what I love about losing weight with my band

1.  crossing my legs!  who knew how much I missed being able to do that comfortably???

2.  wearing running tights or compression capris....and feeling confident in them.

3.  being able to do 10 "boy" push-ups.  My goal is to get to 20 in a row by the end of summer.

4.  feeling my hip bones jut out while lying down

5.  my port is now an "out-ie"....yup, an out-ie!

6.  walking into a staff meeting and having a colleague yell out "Th*mpson, you are half the woman you used to be!"  What could I do but laugh and tell him I will accept "any and all compliments."

7.  how strong and muscular my legs feel

8.  that I can't binge or graze....and really don't want to.

9.  being a good role model to my kiddos....taking the emphasis off of food and promoting activity/exercise into our daily life.

10. feeling in control over what and how much I eat. 

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, what do you love about your weight loss and/ or band????

60 pounds gone!

Finally, finally, finally!  60 lbs.....bye bye! 

I have been bouncing back and forth between the same 2 lbs. for several weeks but it looks like 145 is here to stay and puts me at 60* lbs down since I started this journey.  (*only down 40 since getting the band on June 30, 2011.)

I can't believe I am at 60....my goal is another 5,  bringing me to a loss of 65 and the start of maintenance.

Part of me is in a hurry to get rid of those last 5 ...but on the other hand what is going to change when I get to goal???  I'm not really doing anything different now than I will be for maintenance.  I am just following the band rules and working out like a fiend!  Maybe I will skip a workout once a week but I doubt it.  I love working out...it's the mental release as well and stealing a little "me" time.

I never would have thought I would be here a year ago.  I finally understand why all of you veteran bandsters say how much you "love your band."  I do too!