My band and I have a "love-hate" kind of relationship.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
My Love Affair With Food Is Over..at least for now.
Yep. The title says it all.
I am an emotional eater...or at least I was. I am a "recovering food addict." That label fits better.
I would be soothed by putting food in my mouth. I have a LONG history of this behavior.
I remember as a kid getting a bag of Skittles to mix in Vanilla ice cream and the binge would begin. Or the time my sister and I ate an entire large bag of Doritos while looking for the "cheesiest chip."
Stressed? Eat something.
Bored? Eat something.
Sad & depressed? Eat something.
Over the last 16 months I have tried to break this cycle. I have been quite sucessful....surprising myself daily.
Since getting the band 8 months ago, I haven't been able to binge. Even if I wanted to....my band wouldn't really let me be a total glutton.
Now that I am in the "green zone," I notice that eating isn't nearly as fun, enjoyable, and relaxing as it used to be. It's just more work to eat and I can't eat the large quantities that used to make me feel temporarily good....of course followed by self-loathing and guilt.
The point is that my band does not make the food choices for me, but it does keep what ever I have chosen in check....I physically CAN NOT binge. (Happily, I haven't binged on ice cream or sliders...because we all know we can get those down easy enough!) I have wanted to binge a few times though.
Hopefully, I will continue to deal with my emotions in healthy ways and NEVER go back to food as my crutch.
Food is my addiction and something I have to deal with every day...some days are easier than others though.