Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My Heart Broke a Little Bit

Last night my son came to me needing to talk.

He told me he was worried he was getting fat.

yep....at 8 he is concerned.

My heart broke a tiny bit ....

We talked for awhile and I think I said all the right things....  He told me he felt "so much better now that we talked."

Here's what bothers me though:  we don't use the word FAT in our house, he doesn't know I have the band, in his lifetime I have never been on a "diet,"  we only talk about Mommy going to exercise because it "makes me feel good and strong" plus it's fun... "like recess."  Where did he get this idea?  And why is an 8 year old even aware of the idea that being fat isn't ok (by some in our society) since that was his worry ???  He is NOT fat.  He's not even chubby.  He is just normal sized.

I asked him if someone said he was fat.  He said no but he doesn't seem to be able to articulate why he is worried. 

It kills me that all of the effort, my therapy sessions, role modeling healthy habits, etc.  I have tried to instill in my kids in order to AVOID "eating issues" for them, was for naught. 

24 hours after our talk and I am still a little sad about the whole thing.


  1. That is sad. Maybe no one called him fat but he hear them talking about someone else....
    Children can be cruel

  2. Give him a hug from me today, a great big squishy one please. And tell him I think he's perfect in everyway. It's so hard when they get bigger and you start to realize that so many outside influences affect their sense of who they are. The 'diet' words are all around us in the media, on the checkout stand. No matter how careful you are at home he will hear them everywhere (especially in January, the month of resolutions). Celebrate the fact that he came to you for comfort and to talk through what he was feeling! And who knows, maybe he just needed some special mommy time. (cause the kiddo is a twiglet! An exercising volleyball playing machine!). If (and it's a big if) the munchkins grow up feeling self conscious about their size, they are no different than everyone else. It isn't because of something you did or didn't do. You are a great role model for your kids and a great mom! Your hard work isn't for naught, it's for you. Love you.

  3. 10 bucks says it was kids at school. Who probably heard it from one of their older siblings or parents even. And they most likely don't even know what the meaning of fat is! I am so thankful that I grew up in a place where weight wasn't an issue. For any one. I mean, kids were cruel about other things, but I never once worried about my weight.

    Until I got to college and every one else was worrying about it. Stupid society.
    I think you're doing everything right by him and just keep instilling those good 'health' values and he'll understand.

  4. I'm going out on a limb here (based on something that happened to me, not anything you have said). Is there any chance that your son is seeing the positive attention you are getting from being thinner and wants that too?

  5. I think Catherine brings up a great point, maybe he is noticing some attention you're getting for your weight loss. I couldn't have put it better myself.

    I'm with you, I never talk about my band with my boys either... I don't want them to think I'm losing weight so I can "look better" (although that is a motivating factor, it's only 10% of the equation!)... like you, I want them to know eating better and being more active is the best way to be for their overall health.